Cause I'm too lazy to write out names. Bwa ha ha ha ha!!!
Acronyms:
TA: The Author
BSA: Blood Sucking Accountant
DFL: Dictator for Life
WW: Wonder Woman
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Story: The Nile is just a river in Egypt!
A quick note: The following contains gratituous adjective use. I love me my adjectives.
The sun sank in a blaze of glorious orange and reds as the evening waves lapped at the soft white sands of the isolated beach. Four wicker beach chairs faced the ocean, the only objects for miles on the empty sands. The first chair was fully reclined for maximum power lounging. An average height blonde with long hair was flopped on top of it, taking her relaxation to such an extreme that at first glance she appeared to be dead. Only the small movements of her fashionable dark red bikini offered subtle signs of life. The second chair was half reclining and held a small blond whose pink paisley string bikini warred with the sun for eye searing brilliance. She was happily sipping cold fruity drinks with umbrellas in them as a flock of chocolate ice cream cones headed south in a ragged v. Some of the ice cream melted in the tropical sun, falling through the air to plop in the sand next to the third chair. “Well that was close,” said a very, very tall blond in a patriotic one piece. She looked relaxed in her upright chair, but was ready to burst into action as her eyes continuously scanned the surroundings for bad guys, hippies, and lemonade stands. She also had sand in her short cropped hair. She wasn’t sure how that happened, but was blaming TA for it anyway. The fourth chair was shrouded in shadow from an enormous beach umbrella. At first it appeared empty, but deep within the murky confines was a small ninja, in full ninja battle dress.
“You know” BSA remarked as she slurped the slushy remains of her second pina colada, “it wouldn’t kill you to wear a swimsuit to the beach.”
“Ninjas don’t do beachwear” came TA’s reply from deep within the chair, “where would I put my shuriken?”
“I thought ninja were supposed to blend in with the crowd” DFL drawled lazily.
“No, ninja are supposed to remain unseen until unleashed on are unsuspecting targets.” TA replied, pride in her voice at her un-alliteration.
Just then a flock of flamingoes landed, produced top hats and canes, and began a tap dance routine.
“You know” said WW, “This is getting really hard to be..”
“DON’T say it!!” demanded an alarmed DFL, propping up on her elbows, “I like this place. Just don’t look if it bothers you.”
BSA nodded in agreement as she grabbed a tiki cup from the sand. This one had two umbrellas and a fruit ka-bob. Excellent.
So the four girls continued to enjoy the peace, tranquility, and magic drink producing sands until a man in CSI coveralls wandered up and began collecting flamingo feathers into an evidence bag.
“Oh come on!” exclaimed TA “He’s doing that all wrong! Your hands aren’t even gloved you doofus!!”
There was a horrible tearing sound as reality reasserted itself and our heroes found themselves back in the cold wet snow: in a toga, a dog, jacketless and up a tree respectively.
“Bummer” stated WW.
“The AUTHOR!!” DFL shouted.
“Sorry!” TA called from her tree perch, “But he was doing it WRONG!”
“Great,” grumbled DFL, “now I’m cold and wet again and we don’t even have a fire”
“Well” TA mused aloud, “there’s this Jack London short story about a guy who tries to kill his dog so he can warm his hands inside its guts and keep from freezing to death.”
They all looked over at BSA, who flattened her ears and growled, showing all her teeth.
“Not that We would ever do such a thing” DFL remanded, throwing TA a dirty look.
“No no, of course not! I was only discussing literature.”
“We should really get going” WW said nervously. She definitely did not want her teammates to start fighting each other. “So, let’s head ..”
A. North
B. West
C. East
D. There is no South. Let’s say, oh I don’t know, let’s say it ends in a big cliff. Pick a different direction.
The sun sank in a blaze of glorious orange and reds as the evening waves lapped at the soft white sands of the isolated beach. Four wicker beach chairs faced the ocean, the only objects for miles on the empty sands. The first chair was fully reclined for maximum power lounging. An average height blonde with long hair was flopped on top of it, taking her relaxation to such an extreme that at first glance she appeared to be dead. Only the small movements of her fashionable dark red bikini offered subtle signs of life. The second chair was half reclining and held a small blond whose pink paisley string bikini warred with the sun for eye searing brilliance. She was happily sipping cold fruity drinks with umbrellas in them as a flock of chocolate ice cream cones headed south in a ragged v. Some of the ice cream melted in the tropical sun, falling through the air to plop in the sand next to the third chair. “Well that was close,” said a very, very tall blond in a patriotic one piece. She looked relaxed in her upright chair, but was ready to burst into action as her eyes continuously scanned the surroundings for bad guys, hippies, and lemonade stands. She also had sand in her short cropped hair. She wasn’t sure how that happened, but was blaming TA for it anyway. The fourth chair was shrouded in shadow from an enormous beach umbrella. At first it appeared empty, but deep within the murky confines was a small ninja, in full ninja battle dress.
“You know” BSA remarked as she slurped the slushy remains of her second pina colada, “it wouldn’t kill you to wear a swimsuit to the beach.”
“Ninjas don’t do beachwear” came TA’s reply from deep within the chair, “where would I put my shuriken?”
“I thought ninja were supposed to blend in with the crowd” DFL drawled lazily.
“No, ninja are supposed to remain unseen until unleashed on are unsuspecting targets.” TA replied, pride in her voice at her un-alliteration.
Just then a flock of flamingoes landed, produced top hats and canes, and began a tap dance routine.
“You know” said WW, “This is getting really hard to be..”
“DON’T say it!!” demanded an alarmed DFL, propping up on her elbows, “I like this place. Just don’t look if it bothers you.”
BSA nodded in agreement as she grabbed a tiki cup from the sand. This one had two umbrellas and a fruit ka-bob. Excellent.
So the four girls continued to enjoy the peace, tranquility, and magic drink producing sands until a man in CSI coveralls wandered up and began collecting flamingo feathers into an evidence bag.
“Oh come on!” exclaimed TA “He’s doing that all wrong! Your hands aren’t even gloved you doofus!!”
There was a horrible tearing sound as reality reasserted itself and our heroes found themselves back in the cold wet snow: in a toga, a dog, jacketless and up a tree respectively.
“Bummer” stated WW.
“The AUTHOR!!” DFL shouted.
“Sorry!” TA called from her tree perch, “But he was doing it WRONG!”
“Great,” grumbled DFL, “now I’m cold and wet again and we don’t even have a fire”
“Well” TA mused aloud, “there’s this Jack London short story about a guy who tries to kill his dog so he can warm his hands inside its guts and keep from freezing to death.”
They all looked over at BSA, who flattened her ears and growled, showing all her teeth.
“Not that We would ever do such a thing” DFL remanded, throwing TA a dirty look.
“No no, of course not! I was only discussing literature.”
“We should really get going” WW said nervously. She definitely did not want her teammates to start fighting each other. “So, let’s head ..”
A. North
B. West
C. East
D. There is no South. Let’s say, oh I don’t know, let’s say it ends in a big cliff. Pick a different direction.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
Music Monday
In order to help with post-Thanksgiving digestion, I have another Evangelion AMV which is based on Asuka. It's Euro-pop, so I have no idea what they're saying, but I'm guessing it's along the lines of: Don't mess with the neurotic German girl.
Geektastic!
Geektastic!
Friday, November 17, 2006
Friday Fun
I'm happy to announce that the summer blockbuster season will start with the awesome Spiderman 3 movie.
Also, in completely unrelated news, the two crazy church ladies have reached a tentative peace agreement through a time share option on the bench outside the Episcaplion church.
Original crazy church lady has it in the morning, while the interloper is there in the afternoon.
I for one am glad, as I prefer just general crazy instead of angry violent crazy on my way to work in the morning.
Also, in completely unrelated news, the two crazy church ladies have reached a tentative peace agreement through a time share option on the bench outside the Episcaplion church.
Original crazy church lady has it in the morning, while the interloper is there in the afternoon.
I for one am glad, as I prefer just general crazy instead of angry violent crazy on my way to work in the morning.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Music Video Monday
Actually, today it's more of a choice music moment than a video from our friends at the Country Music Awards. Keep your eyes on Faith Hill and enjoy. Who knew country could be so fun?
Now, I know what you're thinking. This is a pretty main stream, practically normal video clip. Well, since I know you're all relying on me for geekstatic, and since I will be unavailable next week, I'll make it a twofer.
Now, I know what you're thinking. This is a pretty main stream, practically normal video clip. Well, since I know you're all relying on me for geekstatic, and since I will be unavailable next week, I'll make it a twofer.
FYI: New comment thingy
We actually got spammed!! A crack team of anti-spam ninjas has been dispatched, but in the meantime, I've turned on word verification.
All this means is, after you've made your comment, you have to typed in the funky word in the little box (mine was bright green) and your comment will post.
All this means is, after you've made your comment, you have to typed in the funky word in the little box (mine was bright green) and your comment will post.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
The Cold Door
Helpful Acronyms:
DFL: Dictator For Life
TA: The Author
WW: Wonder Woman
BSA: Blood Sucking Accountant
In our last installment, our heroes found themselves in a house of many doors, where they were faced with choosing either a normal door, a burned door, a scratched door, or a cold door.
“Logically, a perfectly normal, non-battered door would be our best bet” TA pointed out as BSA joined them on the ground floor.
“Agreed, but there are many normal doors. How do we pick just one?” wondered Wonder Woman.
“Simple. By using the tenants of Bayesian probability we will be able to deduce which door would lead us to a safe and harmless exit.” TA responded.
“Nonsense” BSA scoffed, “only the objective principles of frequency probability will allow for the rejection or non-rejection of this type of statistical hypotheses.”
“What about Jaynes’ principle of maximum entropy?” TA responded vigorously.
“What about it? Nothing about any of these doors offers testable information. They’re the Normal doors!” BSA argued.
“Guys?” WW gallantly interrupted, thus saving the reader from further statistical discussion, “What’s DFL doing?” They all looked over at the still bemused Dictator who, having found a cold door and believing it to be the entrance to a walk-in freezer, had continued her personal quest for a Diet Coke.
“No wait!” BSA cried in dawning horror as DFL disappeared into an icy blast. WW leapt heroically to the rescue and was also consumed by the frigid light bursting from the still opening door.
“Well, crap” TA responded in surprise as the icy blast wrapped around her, spreading frost patterns across her gi as she was sucked towards the now wide open door.
“Oh man, I hate the cold!” BSA whined as she and TA were pulled into the light, the door slamming shut with a deep boom behind them.
As the light faded our heroes found themselves in a thick grove of pine trees, whose boughs creaked ominously under heavy weights of snow. Fat, heavy flakes continued to drift from a leaden sky, their soft landings the only sound in the cold, muffled atmosphere.
“The only sound except for the ominous creaking you mentioned in the first sentence” BSA snidely pointed out. TA glowered.
“Do you want to do the introductory narration?” she demanded, the snow crunching under her feet as the air trapped in the crystals compressed...
“Wait a minute” interrupted BSA, “you researched the sound of snow crunching?!”
“I’m very thorough” TA replied haughtily. BSA’s laughter rang eerily through the grove until a large load of snow dropped off a convenient branch and onto her head.
“Hey!” BSA grimaced in disgust as she wiped snow off her face, “This is a silk shirt! Obviously, a change of costume is in order.” She concentrated briefly and morphed into a large, tawny wolf.
Meanwhile, under a nearby tree, DFL pulled herself out of a drift as the cold finally shocked her into full consciousness.
“Why did I pick the cold door? I’m in a freaking toga!” She wondered aloud as she started to shiver. WW shrugged and waded over to the tree, removing her thick leather jacket which she handed to the chilled Dictator. DFL gingerly took it, holding the leather away from her as fashion sense warred with common sense. Finally, she took one last look at its patriotic glory before closing her eyes, taking a deep breath, and slipping into its voluminous confines.
“I know I was surprised” TA confided as she glided into the shadows, “we should find shelter before Dictator freezes.” WW, still comfortable in her patriotic tank top and golden bracers, scoured the ground with her Amazon hunting skills.
“There seems to be a path leading North” she stated, pointing dramatically at a patch of snowy ground. A sharp bark drew their attention to BSA’s tail, which was the only part of her they could see in the drifts, and which appeared to be wagging in a Westerly direction.
“I don’t care which way we go as long as there’s a luxury hotel at the end of it” DFL stated firmly. TA’s voice floated down from the tree tops, “It all looks the same from up here!”
“That’s because you’re facing East!” WW called.
There was a moment of silence while this nugget of information was considered.
“Well it’s not like the flipping sun is out! How was I supposed to know?!” There was a rustling of branches and then “Okay, well I’ve circled the whole tree and all I’ve seen in all directions is a bunch of trees and snow. Make of that what you will.”
So, what direction should they choose:
A. North
B. West
C. East
D. Continued State of Denial
DFL: Dictator For Life
TA: The Author
WW: Wonder Woman
BSA: Blood Sucking Accountant
In our last installment, our heroes found themselves in a house of many doors, where they were faced with choosing either a normal door, a burned door, a scratched door, or a cold door.
“Logically, a perfectly normal, non-battered door would be our best bet” TA pointed out as BSA joined them on the ground floor.
“Agreed, but there are many normal doors. How do we pick just one?” wondered Wonder Woman.
“Simple. By using the tenants of Bayesian probability we will be able to deduce which door would lead us to a safe and harmless exit.” TA responded.
“Nonsense” BSA scoffed, “only the objective principles of frequency probability will allow for the rejection or non-rejection of this type of statistical hypotheses.”
“What about Jaynes’ principle of maximum entropy?” TA responded vigorously.
“What about it? Nothing about any of these doors offers testable information. They’re the Normal doors!” BSA argued.
“Guys?” WW gallantly interrupted, thus saving the reader from further statistical discussion, “What’s DFL doing?” They all looked over at the still bemused Dictator who, having found a cold door and believing it to be the entrance to a walk-in freezer, had continued her personal quest for a Diet Coke.
“No wait!” BSA cried in dawning horror as DFL disappeared into an icy blast. WW leapt heroically to the rescue and was also consumed by the frigid light bursting from the still opening door.
“Well, crap” TA responded in surprise as the icy blast wrapped around her, spreading frost patterns across her gi as she was sucked towards the now wide open door.
“Oh man, I hate the cold!” BSA whined as she and TA were pulled into the light, the door slamming shut with a deep boom behind them.
As the light faded our heroes found themselves in a thick grove of pine trees, whose boughs creaked ominously under heavy weights of snow. Fat, heavy flakes continued to drift from a leaden sky, their soft landings the only sound in the cold, muffled atmosphere.
“The only sound except for the ominous creaking you mentioned in the first sentence” BSA snidely pointed out. TA glowered.
“Do you want to do the introductory narration?” she demanded, the snow crunching under her feet as the air trapped in the crystals compressed...
“Wait a minute” interrupted BSA, “you researched the sound of snow crunching?!”
“I’m very thorough” TA replied haughtily. BSA’s laughter rang eerily through the grove until a large load of snow dropped off a convenient branch and onto her head.
“Hey!” BSA grimaced in disgust as she wiped snow off her face, “This is a silk shirt! Obviously, a change of costume is in order.” She concentrated briefly and morphed into a large, tawny wolf.
Meanwhile, under a nearby tree, DFL pulled herself out of a drift as the cold finally shocked her into full consciousness.
“Why did I pick the cold door? I’m in a freaking toga!” She wondered aloud as she started to shiver. WW shrugged and waded over to the tree, removing her thick leather jacket which she handed to the chilled Dictator. DFL gingerly took it, holding the leather away from her as fashion sense warred with common sense. Finally, she took one last look at its patriotic glory before closing her eyes, taking a deep breath, and slipping into its voluminous confines.
“I know I was surprised” TA confided as she glided into the shadows, “we should find shelter before Dictator freezes.” WW, still comfortable in her patriotic tank top and golden bracers, scoured the ground with her Amazon hunting skills.
“There seems to be a path leading North” she stated, pointing dramatically at a patch of snowy ground. A sharp bark drew their attention to BSA’s tail, which was the only part of her they could see in the drifts, and which appeared to be wagging in a Westerly direction.
“I don’t care which way we go as long as there’s a luxury hotel at the end of it” DFL stated firmly. TA’s voice floated down from the tree tops, “It all looks the same from up here!”
“That’s because you’re facing East!” WW called.
There was a moment of silence while this nugget of information was considered.
“Well it’s not like the flipping sun is out! How was I supposed to know?!” There was a rustling of branches and then “Okay, well I’ve circled the whole tree and all I’ve seen in all directions is a bunch of trees and snow. Make of that what you will.”
So, what direction should they choose:
A. North
B. West
C. East
D. Continued State of Denial
Tuesday Times
From the Eminent Librarian:
The Washington Post tries to play.
Hmmm, for reasons unbeknownst to me, you have to click on it to view the image. Sorry.
However, the NY Times remains champion of weird graphics with this snippet from the dating scene:
The Washington Post tries to play.
Hmmm, for reasons unbeknownst to me, you have to click on it to view the image. Sorry.
However, the NY Times remains champion of weird graphics with this snippet from the dating scene:
Monday, November 06, 2006
Monday Music Video
I've decided that having theme days is fun! So here's my new thing for Mondays. Now normally, music videos would be in DFL's domain. And she would probably post some classic rock video, along with some entertaining yet informative trivia or thoughtful analysis.
Alas, poor reader, Dictator is enthralled under the evil spell of work, school, and global domination and has no time for this humble blog.
So it's mine, all MINE!!! And that means it's geektastic!!
So today's video is from another favorite despot of mine, Invader Zim. Zim is attempting to take over the world by using the power of Santa Claus. This is something DFL would never do because she would have to wear a fat suit.
Alas, poor reader, Dictator is enthralled under the evil spell of work, school, and global domination and has no time for this humble blog.
So it's mine, all MINE!!! And that means it's geektastic!!
So today's video is from another favorite despot of mine, Invader Zim. Zim is attempting to take over the world by using the power of Santa Claus. This is something DFL would never do because she would have to wear a fat suit.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Friday Geek Out
Neat fan-made trailer for a live action Evangelion movie. I love how they pick Elijah Wood for the neurotic Shinji who, it has been brilliantly said, has more complexes than an industrial park.
I disagree with Dunst for Asuka though, she's just seems too nice and meek to pull it off. I suppose that could be because these shots are taken from Spider-man, and it's hard to compare girl-next-door to a girl who's made arrogant toxic nastiness into an art form.
Interesting thought: Who would you cast as Misato? Hmmm, I'll have to ponder this.
I disagree with Dunst for Asuka though, she's just seems too nice and meek to pull it off. I suppose that could be because these shots are taken from Spider-man, and it's hard to compare girl-next-door to a girl who's made arrogant toxic nastiness into an art form.
Interesting thought: Who would you cast as Misato? Hmmm, I'll have to ponder this.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Heroes Haiku
Evil Nicki dead?
Hiro sad about dead bad guys
Neighbor chick's a mole.
Can I just say that I don't believe Nicki is dead. I think this will only make her mad which, hulk-like, will only make her stronger. Super strength and utterly psycho? Yeah, you better run Male Kitty Pryde!!
I also think it's interesting that Hiro already had his Peter Parker orgin moment with the slaughtered poker players. Although I prefer "it's a journery" to "with great power comes with great responsibility" but that's just me.
I also loved how excited he looked when he found out that he'd have a sword in the future. I love Hiro, he's my favorite character so far.
Random Note:
The scene where evil glasses man is looking in shock at a pair of broken glasses as he's being informed of the "Save the Cheerleader" tagline, totally makes me think of Gendo Ikari from Evangelion.
Hiro sad about dead bad guys
Neighbor chick's a mole.
Can I just say that I don't believe Nicki is dead. I think this will only make her mad which, hulk-like, will only make her stronger. Super strength and utterly psycho? Yeah, you better run Male Kitty Pryde!!
I also think it's interesting that Hiro already had his Peter Parker orgin moment with the slaughtered poker players. Although I prefer "it's a journery" to "with great power comes with great responsibility" but that's just me.
I also loved how excited he looked when he found out that he'd have a sword in the future. I love Hiro, he's my favorite character so far.
Random Note:
The scene where evil glasses man is looking in shock at a pair of broken glasses as he's being informed of the "Save the Cheerleader" tagline, totally makes me think of Gendo Ikari from Evangelion.
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